Posted on October 21 2016
Our room was FREEZING! I think it made it easier for us to blame our sleepless night on the cold instead of what was really going through our minds. Our doctor came in early and told us everything that was going to happen. He said he had a team prepared to handle this baby and all the complications with it. I made sure I told him one more time that I needed to hold my baby before they took him away.
A sweet nurse who was called into work that day just to deliver our baby came in and got me ready for my C-section. I will never forget the little miracles that happened during this time. God is mindful of us always; especially when we need him the most.
I felt numb but peaceful as she wheeled me to the operating room. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I couldn't believe how many people were already in the operating room when we got there. I counted 10 and then at least another 10 more walked in after us. They gave me the spinal and with my husband by my side, we waited until I was numb enough for them to move forward with the delivery.
For anyone who has ever had a C-section before, it is awesome not being able to feel them pull the baby out. Madden was breach, and this time I felt EVERYTHING! The pressure they were putting on my ribs to push him out was excruciating. I thought they broke one of my ribs. I could even feel them pulling his body out of mine. It was intense and miserable!
I didn't hear him cry. Not one sound. I could tell he was trying to breath but nothing. The doctor quickly held him up and said, "dad take a picture quick!". Guy took the picture and they immediately took Madden to this table they prepared over in the corner. I tried turning my head to look at him but there were too many people surrounding him talking, yelling, asking and running for different instruments that I couldn't see him. After about 10 minutes of this they quickly grabbed Guy and said they were taking him up to the NICU for better equipment. I watched as everyone ran out of the room down the hall. They took my baby. I didn't get to hold him. I was all alone, shivering getting stitched up. I started balling. I couldn't help it. My nurse came over and just held me. I needed someone and she knew it.