Posted on October 10 2016
Going to get my blood drawn was the easy part, waiting for the results was torture. I have never suffered from anxiety in my life before. I couldn't eat or sleep and every time the phone rang my heart was pounding out of my chest. Finally, a week after I took the test on February 4th the phone rang. My husband answered. He came and got me, and we heard the genetic doctor on the phone tell us that it was confirmed, our baby boy did have down Syndrome. He asked us if we wanted the number for the abortion clinic, we kindly declined and he gave us a number for a support group here in Arizona.
I just remember tears streaming down my face. I knew that my life was never going to be the same. I couldn't stop looking at our family picture and being so upset that we weren't going to have a "normal" family. I didn't want to be the couple out to dinner with their adult child. We were never going to be "empty nesters". I didn't want to have to go through years of speech therapy and occupational therapy again. (my oldest son struggled with speech and sensory issues when he was little). My husband and I were never going to be able to travel like we wanted when we were older. Why was I the only one out of all my friends and family dealing with this problem?
For months I struggled. I only told my siblings and three or four friends total. I didn't want anyone to know. It consumed me and depression sunk it.
My husband is definitely my better half. He never had a problem with it from the time we hung up the phone. One night he came and talked to me about it. He talked about the joy it was going to be. He told me that we aren't going to have to worry about this son like we would our other kids. This son will always say, "I Love you MOM!" even during those rough teenage years. He talked about the love he was going to bring to our family and to others. I knew he was right. I needed to be at peace with this. Just like flowers bloom after the cold winter, I knew I was going to be ok and that this was going to be better than I expected it to be.